|A.B.Teebird (from Coney
A.B.Teebird here, Esquire from Coney Island; Empire Penguin. I'm betting you didn't know that the word "coney" stands for rabbit? That's right. So when Bunny and Star came to me to rent office space in "The IceBox Cake Building" that I own downtown Manhattan - well how could I refuse? And since Star is an elephant (or part elephant, whatever) I am obligated to let the space for free, due to animal rights bylaw 721 enacted so that all elephants are welcome and protected. This is because of what they did to Topsy.* Besides being legal counsel to the zoo here, I represent ALL the animals in New York City. Occasionally, I must call on Bunny and Star for help - as in "The Case of Pale Male". You must remember - that uptown incident? I am told it will have quite a mention in that Cartoon Novel that's being written. Sure, I refer lots of cases to Bunny and Star and where would they be without me? Really, I should retire, but where would I go? Florida? Arizona? Not for me, I'm from Brooklyn! I'll just stay here. There's the rides, the raw clam bar, Randazzo's just west of here, and of course Nathan's. Not to forget the Mermaid Parade, the Polar Bear club... Cyclone, Boardwalk... and where would I go anyway and who would look after the zoo?
Think I'll get a hotdog...
*Topsy was an elephant that was electrocuted by Thomas Edison in 1903 before a crowd of 1,500 spectators. A sad day for humanity. And who was worse - the executioners or the spectators? I suggest you look it up if you don't know the story...